Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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