what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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