i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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