True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
