i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
