this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
