The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
