I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
