Already got asked if we're dating
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
