The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
