its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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