i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We need to get me chipped asap
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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