rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I could make wine with my vomit
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
