Umm I'm too high to move.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
