thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
