wanna go halves on a baby?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize