Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize