Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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