We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
