Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
