she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
