SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
