We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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