Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
