sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
