I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
