i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
