it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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