..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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