yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
