My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize