you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
