Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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