my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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