I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
