i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
