I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
