I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I love black thongs
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
love makes seman taste better
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
