therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
