Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
