In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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