On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
