girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
