i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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