he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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