So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
