Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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