ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
