when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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