there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
