Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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