girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
