Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
