Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
