It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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