I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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