Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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