dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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