are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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